


Can we always be this close? (Forever and ever)

by idyllicwebz



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Wedding Fluff, background zutara because i said so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idyllicwebz/pseuds/idyllicwebz
Summary: She’s beautiful. It’s not the first time he’s ever thought of this before, but she looks almost ethereal under the moon's light right now. Her eyes are a little puffy, and her hairs’ messy like his own, and--and she’s in her pajamas, but she looks like everything he’s ever wanted despite it all.“You look like a dream.”
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter one: Moonlight and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first atla fic and I hope you all enjoy it! Kudos and comments are appreciated! This fic will have probably 3 parts with the last being an epilogue. :)

The ceiling is starting to mock him, Sokka thinks sourly. 

The war is over now, and the world feels anew. There’s no more impending doom looming over his head; no more planning for every fire nation attack scenario; no more ravenous fire lord, and there’s more importantly no more constant fear for his life. But, Sokka thinks with a frown, there is also no more sleeping on Appa. There's a lot of things Sokka thought he’d never have to miss. 

Of course, Sokka doesn’t miss sleeping in the dirt. But, he missed being huddled with his friends, feeling like a child, for those tiny moments. Even if how Katara had always ended up kicking his shins in her sleep, or how Aang would tend to cling to his arm like the child he claimed not to be; maybe how Zuko would sometimes give up his blanket for him because “ _ firebenders run warm _ ” and he needed it more than he did. Spirits, Sokka even missed how Toph would wake him up with a tunnel of rocks to his sleeping bag.

And yes, the bed he’s in now  _ is _ comfortable, but it’s also suffocatingly stuffy and the blankets feel like a million pounds, and--he’s alone. Zuko had been generous enough to set each of them up with all of their own rooms while they stayed at the palace for the meantime, but he had really wished his friend would have gotten the memo is all.

His eyes flicker to the door, knowing that just a few doors down Suki lays, probably asleep, unlike him. Despite the unwarranted heaviness in his chest his lips quirk into a smile at the thought of her, and for not the first time that night he wishes she was here. She’d do what she always did when he was feeling like this, and whisper stories of how it was like growing up with the Kyoshi Warriors to distract him from his ever racing heart. 

She’d hold him to her chest, and Sokka would let her.

But, Suki’s asleep, and he knows that at least one of them should get a full night's rest. There are bags under his eyes when he checks the mirror, and he cringes slightly at it, knowing immediately how his sister would bother him tomorrow about it. He swears he can hear Katara’s scolding voice at him already. Sokka decides it’s best to leave the mirror after that, and he finds himself walking over to the window, instead of his bed as he knows he should, but he can’t help it. 

The moon is beautiful tonight.

Her light touching everything in the garden below with such vibrance that it leaves him breathless, and suddenly, the weight settles around his heart again.

Sokka finds himself climbing out the window after that; somehow wrangling his way down towards the separate roof below him, and sitting. Once again, he looks to the moon, and for the first time in a while thinks of the girl who’d died in his arms that grey night. The princess who gave her life for not just her tribe, but the whole world. Who fulfilled her duty, even if she broke his heart in the process. He hadn’t even known Yue that long, but Sokka still remembers how his stomach fluttered when she smiled at him for the first time. How she didn’t care that he wasn’t a bender, but that he had made her laugh for what felt like the first time in years she’d told him. 

And maybe it wasn’t love just yet, but it could have been.

“Can’t sleep?”

Sokka jumps at the sudden voice, clinging to the railing to stop from falling, before looking up. Suki looks down at him from his window and smiles gently, and he swears his heart grows the tiniest bigger at it for her love.

“No,” he shrugs, and she frowns, a thought passing over her face before making her mind up it seems, and pulling herself out the window now too. Sokka panics, hastily standing up as safely as he can, and extends a hand for help. She takes it with ease, despite his constant mumblings to be careful at every step closer towards him, and instead rolls her eyes fondly up at him. “Kyoshi warrior here, I can be light on my feet,” Suki says, settling next to him, and Sokka chuckles. “I know,” he agrees, and a quietness languishes around them once more.

“I can’t sleep either...” Suki breaks the silence, bringing a knee to her chest. “It’s too quiet here,” she says turning to the moon now too. Sokka nods, pulling her frame into his side then, and she melts a little when he rests his cheek on her head. 

“I haven’t been able to sleep for days,” Sokka admits.

“I know,” she murmurs. “I didn’t wanna say anything, but I noticed the circles under your eyes... I thought you just needed time to adjust, and I didn’t think I’d be of help since I haven’t been able to sleep either.”

Sokka grins softly at her in response, because of course his girlfriend would try to put his best intentions ahead of her own. “Well we’re  _ both _ not sleeping tonight anyways, so all the more reason to stick together. You know for purely sensical reasons of course.”

That gets a smile out of her just like he’d planned it would, and she smirks up at him. 

“Of course, why else?” She presses a chaste kiss to his cheek then, and his smile turns into a full blown toothy grin. “You’re such a dork,” Suki laughs, huddling into his side deeper after. 

“Yeah, but you love me,” he defends.

“Yes,” she sighs, curling closer if possible, “I do.”

Their gazes turn back to the moon again.

“Sometimes I can’t believe it’s really all over. Just yesterday it felt like we were on the run from the fire nation and now...here we are, at the very heart of it, supposed to be sleeping in all of our very own rooms.”

“If it makes you feel any better we’re not the only ones awake,” she says. “I ran into your sister in the hallway, looked like she was leaving Zuko’s.”

“I’m sorry  _ what _ \--you know what, actually, nevermind I’d rather not think about my baby sisters love life at this time of night, or um  _ ever _ .” Suki laughs at that, knocking shoulders with him. “But, I know what you mean,” she says after settling down, smile disappearing. “-everything feels so unsure now. This war has lasted 100 years, and everything we do now affects the generations after us, and the impossible sounds like the easy part now. Winning the war was feasible weeks ago, but now? There’s reparations to be made, cities to be restructured, and crumbling governments, and I just-”

“Breath sweetheart,” Sokka assures, hand clasping hers.

“I just wish I didn’t feel so confused over everything, is all,” she finishes, and there's a light sheen to her eyes that wasn’t there before, but she starts to gleam up at him anyways. “All I’m sure of right now is you,” she says tearfully. “Is that okay?”

And because he can, and  _ spirits _ the only thing he’s sure of now is her, kisses her with abundance.

Her opposite arm loops around over his shoulder, and she melts further into his kiss, running a hand through his messy hair gently. Sokka cradles her face in response, and his thumb caresses the dimple at her chin with a sigh.

“I’ve lost so many people Suki-,” he breaks the kiss, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to tell her everything he’s ever bottled up. “There’s so many people I haven’t been able to protect, and I lost them because of that. My mother died when I was so young, and I know Katara feels to blame for it, but I...I’m her big brother, and if I had just been with her maybe we both could have protected her? Maybe we both could have saved her that day? I lost my mom that day of the raid, but in a way, I also lost my baby sister's innocence.” A tear trails down his cheek, and Suki wipes it away before he has the chance to, bringing his face back to her’s. “That wasn’t your fault Sokka,” she says. “Those people are the ones who hurt your mother,  _ not  _ you, and Katara would never blame you for what happened...you know that, right?”

Sokka nods his head against hers weakly. “We both had to grow up so quickly,” he retorts in a hush. “I remember, even then, I had never wanted to feel like that again, and when my father and all the men left I had wanted to go too.” A frail smile twitches at the corner of his mouth for a moment, and Suki smiles encouragingly in response, holding his hand. “I had even put on my warrior's makeup,” he admits with a tiny laugh, and his girlfriend chuckles gently as well. 

“I’m sure it was adorable,” she says.

He huffs at that, and grins sadly before looking back up to the sky.

“Then I lost her.”

Suki’s thumb caresses his inner wrist, fingering at his pulse with ease. “Tell me about her,” she asks. For a moment Sokka can’t find the word to describe her, but he settles on just one for now. 

“Brave,” he says. “She was very brave.”

He turns back to Suki then, and his breath catches in his chest. She’s  _ beautiful _ . It’s not the first time he’s ever thought of this before, but she looks almost ethereal under the moon's light right now. Her eyes are a little puffy, and her hairs’ messy like his own, and-- _ and she’s in her pajamas _ , but she looks like everything he’s ever wanted despite it all.

“You look like a dream.”

“What?” Suki flushes, brow raising at him; a shy grin spreading across her face. “What does that even mean? I don’t look like a dream.”

“But you do,” he defends, and his heart begins to race now. “You’re so beautiful Suki, you look like everything good in the world. You’re so funny, and kind, and you’re not afraid to put anyone in their place, a-and you look like a  _ dream _ .” His hands are shaking and something begins to flood his heart suddenly. 

“ _ Sokka _ ,” she exclaims with a burning flush, and he beams softly back at her, cupping one of her pinkened cheeks.

He swallows, mouth suddenly feeling dry. “Back on the day of Sozin’s comet when we were destroying the air ships, and-” her lip quivers gently at his stutter, knowing just how terrified the both of them had been that day. “-and you had  _ fallen _ ,” Sokka manages out, “I had never been so scared in my life before, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to save you just like I couldn’t with the others.”

Her hands tremble and clasp to his wrists desperately. “I’m okay. I’m here right now,” she assures. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” Suki says, tears cascading like streams down her face.

“You’re not?” Sokka murmurs, and he’s crying too now.

“No,” she shakes her head. “I’ll be here as long as you want me to be.”

The thumping in his chest fastens, and something clicks. Something deep inside of him aligns just right, and the fog around his heart begins to lift ever so slowly. 

And he thinks of all of the things he’ll never get to experience, all the memories now tainted with something darker, and all of the people who are gone now. His mother who never got to see him grow into the man she always believed he would be, and the princess who knew her duty over her own life; who laughed at his stupid boomerang jokes, and kissed him beneath the icey arches, and made him feel something he’d never felt before.

And, maybe that wasn’t love, but this  _ is. _

Sokka looks at Suki and he just _ knows _ . 

There’s no one else. There will never be anyone else for him, but her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asks, but he doesn’t answer. Instead, he ushers her into another kiss, and tries to convey everything he’s feeling.

“I love you,” he says against her lips, and because all common sense has left his head, he blurts out what’s been clouding his mind.

“Marry me Suki.”

Startled, Suki pulls away. “You can’t be serious.” 

“I am!” Sokka defends to her wild eyes. “I love you. I’m always going to love you.”

A shocked laugh bursts past her lips, and Sokka watches how she looks at him like he’s grown a second head, a smile forming still. “We’re only seventeen Sokka! What will the others say?”

“Well, it’s not like you’d be marrying them. Unless there's something you’d like to tell me about Zuko?” he teases, and she groans. “This is serious you doof! We can’t just rush into things. What if we make a mistake and it all ends horribly?”

“Not possible,” he says. “How can what I feel for you ever be a mistake?”

She can’t help her smile. “Sokka-”

“Don’t think about the what ifs-” he interrupts, “listen to your heart Suki. Forget about what the others might say,” he says. “I know that I am always going to love you. I know like in the way that the sun will always shine. I know in the way that we’ll always find each other no matter what. How in those months without you keep me up at night.  _ I know _ in the way how you made me a better person.”

She’s still staring at him, but it’s no longer like he’s insane; instead, it’s something of amazement. “I’m always going to love you too,” she says, and Sokka’s heart soars.

He takes her hands. “Let me be the best person I can be, with you, please?”

And, for a moment all is silent. The birds go quiet, the rustling of leaves stops, and--

“ _ Okay,” _ Suki cries. “Yes! Yes I’ll marry you.”

Sokka’s beaming smile is so wide and beautiful Suki wonders why she ever thought of refusing. She has to hold in her bark of laughter at his sudden exclamation of excitement; practically falling off the roof in the process. “Be quiet! You’re going to wake the whole palace up.” She whispers, grinning too, and her tears are now something of only happiness. 

Sokka kisses her quickly. “You’re going to be my  _ wife!  _ Oh wow, spirits there’s so much I have to plan now! Should I get married in my warriors outfit? Or should I try to keep it casual I-”

“Sokka-”

“No you’re right warriors outfit makes me look more manlier. Also, where would we have it? I’m kind of partial to back home, but only because I know you’d just love the sunsets there, but I am willing to compromise for you my sweetheart, and-”

Suki decides the best way to shut him up is by kissing him, and Sokka dreamily thinks that maybe he’ll start rambling more if it always ends like this.

“Are you always going to talk this much?” she murmurs.

“Most definitely.”

She laughs, and Sokka wonders if she even knows how enchanting she is.

He can’t wait to prove it to her for the rest of their lives.

“Let’s go to bed,” she says and pats his cheek for good measure. “I’m tired now, and all I want is for you to hold me. Is that alright?”

“Always,” he replies.

They sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.

And, maybe those grey clouds will never truly be gone, but Sokka likes to think they can both save each other from the shadows now.

They’ve got each other.

  
  



	2. Are you Gonna be Around for me to Count On?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It is real. Very real.” He hands Suki the blossom.
> 
> She grins, and plucks the flower from his fingers gently, twirling the stem between her thumb and forefinger. 
> 
> The sight makes his stomach grow warm and for a moment he swears he can see it all laid before him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a little long, and YES I did have to up the chapter count. I started writing it just got away from me the more I wrote. As usual this chapter was beta-ed by my bestie Lauren, also known as @/katarasupremacy on twitter!
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated! :)

Sokka isn’t surprised by his sister's reaction to his engagement. Katara had always been the type to stew in her feelings rather than act on them, and Suki had smirked when he admitted that much to her. Saying something around the lines of “no kidding”, and bringing up her feelings for a certain fire lord. 

The others had seemed surprised to say the least, but covered up their shock pretty well for the most part. Toph had simply shrugged, and affectionately (or at least she swears that’s what it is) punched his shoulder with an exclamation of congrats. Aang, ever the bundle of joy, had at least been able to curtain his astonishment with a great hug. Wrapping both arms around the pair with a happy laugh, and rambling about how exciting it was going to be to attend his first ever wedding. _Spirits_ , even Zuko had a more enthusiastic response! If albeit a little awkward with his hand gestures while doing so. And, Katara...well, Katara had remained bewildered with an awed expression. It had been a rather awkward exchange, and Sokka groans feeling the moment wash over him again.

“That probably could have gone better.”

Suki bumps his shoulder with a smile. “It went _fine_ , I don’t know why you’re so beat up about it. Katara said she was happy for us.”

“I know she did! But, she looked at me like I was crazy! I mean--she even _said_ it had seemed a little fast,” Sokka gripes.

“Well it is.”

Sokka shot her a betrayed look, and had dramatically exclaimed, “you _wound_ your betrothed, my dearest!” She’d only shrugged with a smirk, tugging him deeper into the garden. “We’ve only been together for a handful of months-- probably less,” she says, and he lets her drag him down next to the flowerbeds with her. He watches her silently with a thoughtful look. “-and maybe it is a little fast, but what we have is real and that’s all that matters isn’t it?” Her voice is so soft and sure, and she just looks so beautiful surrounded by the blooming buds that he can’t help but smile down at her. He probably looks like an idiot swooning at her every word, but Sokka finds he doesn’t really care. He picks a flower from besides him, and thumbs at the petal for a moment.

“It is real. Very real.” He hands Suki the blossom.

She grins, and plucks the flower from his fingers gently, twirling the stem between her thumb and forefinger. 

The sight makes his stomach grow warm and for a moment he swears he can see it all laid before him. A child hanging from his arm, another around her waist, and laughter loud and rambunctious. All the while she continues to look at him like the way she always has. Full of disbelief and--yes, _love_. Her eyes would crinkle still at his stupid jokes, and her nose would scrunch while she laughed, while he would tell her something silly that happened with their children that day. Sokka can see it all so clearly now. He wants to tell her how he envisions a little girl that’s a spitting image of her, but with all of his energy and curiosity. Or how he can imagine a baby boy who clings to her side, and wears a warriors tail happily. 

“I love you,” he says instead.

Suki kisses him gently in response. “I know,” she says.

\---

Toph is the first to depart from the fire nation.

_“I can’t be tied down to one place! I’m too amazing for that, and it’d be a shame for others to miss out on the experience of yours truly!”_ She had exclaimed cockily, but everyone had seen the way she nervously plucked at a loose thread of her shirt when she also said how her parents had sent letters of encouragement to visit. Her goodbye had been a rather tender one, even if the girl would never admit to that much.

She had begrudgingly accepted hugs, making uncomfortable faces while doing so, and had humorously claimed to Zuko that he’d better not start any wars while she was gone--at least not without her. He grumpily rolled his eyes, but Sokka had spied the small telltale signs of a smile he tried to hide. 

She had made her rounds one by one, until only he was left. The small statured girl had looked up at him with her milky green eyes, and for once smile wasn’t a menacing teasing grin, but a genuine almost vulnerable one. _“Thanks for not dropping me back in the air raids,”_ Toph said then. _“I never said thank you for that I realized. You’re a good catch snuffles.”_ Then unsurprisingly she had wacked his shoulder, and he squawked in indignation as she walked away up the ship's ramp, but Sokka had smiled despite it all.

A couple weeks pass, and it’s strange in the way how they all grow and drift farther apart. 

It must be a thing of growing up, Sokka thinks. The war is over, and there's a sense of _now what?_ It’s been three months since Ozai’s reign of terror ended, and it feels as though life is trying to sweep him back out into the masses. 

_But I’m not ready,_ he realizes. _Not just yet._

He admits this to Suki one night; the looming shadow once more greeting him. “I didn’t even know if we’d make it this far,” he says, but his girlfriend is understanding and murmurs her own dark thoughts. “Back on the boiling rock I had almost given up,” she mutters, “I had held hope for so long, but the hours turned to days, and then the days to months, and suddenly I had stopped counting the days.”

Guilt curls around like an old friend once more. “I’m sorry,” Sokka says, because what more can he say? He’d almost let her down, and even then he hadn’t gone to boiling rock for her, but for his father initially. Suki tugs him closer, placing herself under his chin. “There’s no need for apologies. Everything worked out in the end Sokka, and I know all of this will too.”

Sokka smiles softly. “Okay,” he says, and he believes her.

They fall asleep an entanglement of limbs, and when he wakes up with a crick in his neck the next morning Sokka finds he doesn’t mind all that much.

Aang leaves next.

His departure, unlike Toph’s, is strange and abrupt. He’d blurted it out at dinner, mouth filled with rice and fingers tensing around his chopsticks, as some unknown emotion clouded his usual joyful eyes. Sokka couldn’t help but notice the way his sister had kept her own gaze firmly on her own plate, poking at the charred meat with unease. 

“ _I think I need to finally explore all the air nation ruins_ ,” he’d said. “ _I can’t be the only one left, and if I am_ -” the boy’s features shifted, “ _then I need to do all I can in order to help rebuild_.”

Katara had wanted to say something, but she thought better of it, it seemed and only nodded in support.

Suki elbowed his side when she noticed his frown, hand wrapping around the crook of his arm as they walked further in the garden now (hours later after that awkward dinner). Something that had now become a habit of theirs after dinner every night. Her grip on him tightened before loosening, walking him underneath the cherry blossom with her. “What’s on your mind?” 

Sokka sighed, turning towards his fiance with narrowed eyes. “Was it just me or was Katara asking weird?”

“Are you serious?” She asked with a snort. “Please tell me you're not that blind Sokka, because if you are I’m going to have to reconsider this whole marriage ordeal,” Suki teased, loving the way his eyes widened comically. 

“If you’re questioning our engagement because of something stupid I’m doing I hate to be the one to tell you this won’t be the first time, and it definitely won’t be the last.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“That’s the point I was making.”

She laughed again, and the warm feeling returned once more. Suki ran a hand through her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear, and Sokka had the sudden uncontrollable urge to kiss her deeply, but he figured she wouldn’t appreciate it that much since she was staring back incredulously again. “Aang obviously found out about Katara and Zuko’s _whatever_ thing they’ve got going on you doof.”

“Oh...that makes sense.”

Suki chuckled. “Of course it does. You know before we’re finally married you should probably get used to the fact that I’ll be right all the time.”

“Nothing new,” Sokka shrugs. “I already knew you were the most smartest, and _beautiful_ , and amazing, and fantastic, and--did I say beautiful already?”

She blushed radiantly. “You did, but keep going. I love when you ramble, especially about me,” she says, and smiles so sweetly that Sokka swears his heart jumps almost out his chest; as if trying to hand it over to her itself. “It makes me feel so loved.”

This time Sokka kisses her deeply without hesitation. Heart hammering all the way up inside his throat.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” he sighs, breaking the kiss, and his fingers tighten in her hair, thumb caressing her cheek. “You’re going to look so...so-”

“Beautiful?”

“Took the word right out my mouth sweetheart.”

Suki laughed, and if it sounded a little breathless Sokka hadn’t noticed.

She kissed him once, then twice, and laid her head upon his chest. “Have you told your family back home?” Suki asked quietly, and he froze. “I kinda forgot about them honestly,” he admitted sheepishly and this time Suki looked at him with a glare. “Are you serious?”

Sokka flushed and laughed nervously. “Unfortunately yes. Hey! Don’t make that face please you’re scaring me!”

“I can’t believe you forgot to tell your family,” she narrowed her eyes. “It’s been weeks since you asked me, you dummy!”

“I know! We were just having so much fun and it’s not a _complete_ lie--I mean I told Katara and she’s family, and-” Sokka stopped at his fiance’s glower, and found himself redirecting his original train of thought. “You know what? I’ll write them first thing in the morning and tell them how the girl I asked to marry is now threatening to kick my butt,” he said. “Gran gran would actually probably like that.”

Her scowl melted away, and a smirk formed instead. “Good. Now come on, let’s go inside. I'm beat, and the bugs are starting to bite at me.”

“Maybe they think you’re sweet?” Sokka desperately tried to save, but it fell flat.

“That’s humingbees you dork, not beatle-ants.”

He frowned and shrugged. “Same thing.”

Suki finally laughed again, and took his hand in hers. “It’s really not, but whatever let’s go back inside at least. You can sneak me some of those fire spice cakes from Zuko’s secret stash to make up for not telling your family.”

Sokka made a pitched noise. “I still can’t believe you like those things!” He took her hand then, letting her lead him to their room. “Since when is dessert supposed to be _spicy?_ Answer? It’s _not_.”

“It’s just chocolate cake with cinnamon filling,” Suki defends. “And it’s _great_. Now, go steal me some from the kitchen behind the-”

“-fire flakes? Yeah, I know,” Sokka jabbed in, before smirking. “Zuko really needs to change his hiding spot, cause at this point there’s no one in the palace who _doesn’t_ know where he hides his things. You’d think he’d notice after all the ones you’ve taken.” They walked deeper into the palace, hands swinging at their sides. Suki shrugs and hums under her breath with a smile, she opens her mouth to stay something--probably another jab about the fire cakes, when a door slams shut somewhere around them. The thud echoes violently around the halls, and they freeze.

“What was-”

“Shh!” Suki hushes, a finger raised to her lips. Sokka huffs and crosses his arms, but remains quiet nonetheless, watching in how his fiance concentrates deeply. She meets his eye and crooks a finger to follow her lead. “I hear something,” she murmurs and he quirks a brow at her. “You have superhuman hearing or are you just nosey?”

“For a palace this place is awfully boring. I can’t help but need some excitement.”

Sokka looks at her amusedly. “I love you,” he swoons in response and she smirks.

The couple edges around the corner, carefully avoiding the guards, and a rush of excitement and familiarity curves up Sokka’s spine; a leery almost missed feeling. Who’d have known he’d miss sneaking around fire nation guards so much? Suddenly, through the silence the muffled voices begin to emerge, before ultimately becoming clearer, and the pair realizes that the slam had come from Zuko’s study.

The door dampens the sounds, but the voices of the people inside are instantly recognizable, and the pair looks cautiously to each other. 

_“What are you talking about?”_ Sokka hears Zuko say, and it sounds as if he’s just stood up, a chair falling thud sounding. He looks at Suki, but she’s concentrating on the conversation too.

_“I’m saying somethings come up, and I...I can’t stay here anymore.”_

_“If this is because of what happened at the turtleduck pond last night-”_

Katara cut in, and she sounded farther this time, like she had stepped closer towards him. _“-It’s not that Zuko. Trust me, it’s not,”_ she says quickly. Sokka feels strangely uncomfortable at the turn in conversation; ready to walk away from the obviously personal discussion, and head for the fire cake stash as promised when something his sister says stops him.

_“I received a letter after dinner from my father... it’s not good.”_

This time Suki _does_ look to him. She meets his gaze worriedly, and they slink closer towards the door frame once more.

_“It’s my grandmother_ ,” Katara warbles. _“She’s sick. There’s something going on in the tribe-- an illness of some sort spreading, and there’s no healers Zuko.”_

_“I-...I’m sorry. Forgive me, I don’t know what to say. I wish there was something I could do.”_

A muted sniffle echos lightly. _“They’ve called for help from the Northern tribe, but I’m their best shot and have to leave as soon as possible.”_

_“Of course.”_

Another silence envelops.

_“You asked me something last night, Zuko. You asked me if it was worth it? Is it still?”_

Sokka drags Suki aside with him after that. 

Not wanting to intrude furthermore on what was clearly none of his business, he hurriedly tugged them both away, but the pounding in his chest still remained long after they made it to their room.

He had made a beeline for the bed, tugging a pillow to his chest and Suki had followed suit, cautiously sitting next to him. The silence stretches and the warrior is careful not to touch her partner's tense frame just yet. Instead, she settles in the stillness with turmoil, and picks at the skin around her thumb nervously: a tick she had picked up as a child.

Her hands are calloused and rough where they should be soft for any other girl, but Suki had realized long ago she wasn’t any other girl. She thinks back placidly on how instead of being gifted dolls as a child she had been gifted fans by her master. How she had lived orphaned for as long as she could remember, before being caught sneaking day old food behind someone's home one night. She had been so hungry, and her lithe frame had trembled when she reached inside the trash for that half eaten bread roll. Her hands had just clutched around the molded roll when she felt someone tug her frame backwards towards them. Suki smiles to herself tinily, and commemorates how despite her frailness, she had still jabbed the intruder at their shins and stomach with fierceness; snarling boldly like in the way only a seven year old could muster.

_“You pack a mean punch for such a little scavenger, you know that?”_ The intruder had heaved, but her seven year old self had stayed cautious, and narrowed her eyes at how the woman in front of her smiled.

_“Don’t be afraid sweetheart, I’m here to help. Are you hungry, little scavenger?”_

She had wanted to deny it and run away, but her stomach had grumbled in response for her, and the woman smiled sadly. _“Would you like to eat with me tonight?”_ She asked. _“You see, I get awfully lonely sometimes too. Perhaps we could solve each of our problems?”_

As a child she had been apprehensive, but there had been something about the woman’s eyes that made her soften, and she left with her.

_“I am master Lein_ ,” the lady said around a mouthful of noodles later on, and she’d beamed with a full stomach now.

_“I’m Suki.”_

Suki thinks about that night often, and how the woman who’d pulled from the trash had been her master. A humorous and stern woman who had raised her and her sister warriors with nothing but kindness and honor.

The smile on her mouth slips and a pang aches her heart remembering her fellow sisters, and how it’s been months now since she last saw them. Guilt begins to pool at the bottom of her stomach.

_She’s_ their leader and this whole time she’s been relaxing under the same place that once burned their village down.

Sokka shifts suddenly, and her mind whirls back to him again just like the boomerang he trusts so dearly.

_Right_ , she thinks remorsefully. Suddenly, feeling ashamed for wallowing in her own problems when she’d been the one to get him into this one in the first place. 

“Are you okay?”

Sokka hugs the pillow closer. “No.”

The girl nods gently, and although Sokka can’t meet her eyes just yet he knows she’s looking understandingly at him.

“I’m sorry, I feel like I put you in this situation. I'm the one who dragged us into eavesdropping.” She’s careful to keep her voice controlled, but he can sense her heavy guilt underlying between her words, and he shakes his head at her. “I would have found out anyways. I’m kinda glad I know now it’s just...a shock is all. I’m worried.”

Suki takes his hand in hers. Her hand is so small compared to his, and she cradles the palm of it with two of her own, looking down at the entanglement with a furrowed brow.

“Whatever happens you know I’ll support you.” She says quietly, and he sees the strange unease in her own eyes. 

“I know that, of course I know that, Suki. I’ll always support you too. For anything,” Sokka says, and she smiles gently at it. Patting his cheek she burrows under the beds sheets, and beckons him over. “Do you want to sleep? It’s still a little early, but it’s reasonable still.”

“No,” Sokka replies. “Can you just stay here with me for now?”

Suki nodded reading between the lines, and pulled him down with her, hugging his head to her collarbone and sighing.

He falls asleep to the gentle thumping of her heart to his ribs anyways.

\----

Katara tells him the next morning. 

When she explains what’s happened there’s no longer any warbling to her voice this time, unlike there had been the night before. Her eyes are serious and determined, and Sokka takes the scroll when she offers it to him.

Somehow seeing the words on the flimsy parchment make it real, and he feels the way his nose burns from wanting to cry, tracing a thumb over his father’s inked handwriting.

“I’m leaving today,” Katara says softly. “I’ve already talked to Zuko about it, and he’s made adjustments for a ship to sail at noon.”

“I’m going with you.”

She frowns for a moment, but nods nonetheless. “What about Suki? Don’t you wanna talk about it with her first? I’ve heard talking with your partner before making big plans is a good thing,” she teases, and he rolls his eyes fondly.

“Suki already knows,” he says before wincing, and looking away at the slip up. 

Katara narrows her eyes. “How? I just told you right now.”

“Uhhh…”

“ _Sokka_.”

He shrugs comically and offers a nervous smile. “Telepathy? She’s a mind reader, you know! Just don’t bring it up because she’s really embarrassed of it, and I don’t know why! I mean it’s such a cool power, and I think it makes her even more um-- _warrior like_?”

_Stop talking_ , his mind yells. _The foot is in your mouth!_

But Katara pieces the puzzle together anyways, and gasps. “You were spying on me!”

“Not on purpose!” Sokka defends. “We were bored, and okay--maybe we were intrigued when we heard a door slam aggressively in the palace.”

His sister’s turned an alarming shade of red now, but she doesn’t look angry and instead is glaring embarrassedly at the carpeted floor. “Please tell me you didn’t hear everything,” she begs. 

“I left after you and Zuko started talking about umm... other things.”

Relief waves across her features and she sighs. “Good.”

“Yeah I didn’t wanna hear all that sappy junk anyways. Spirits knows I’d have probably thrown up if I’d heard yall kiss.”

“We didn’t-”

Sokka hushes her and hands the scroll back silently. “You’re right though,” he says and his smile disappears again. The sudden weight of what awaits for them back home crashing down once more. “I should go talk to Suki about everything again.” His sister nods understandingly, and Sokka can’t help but hug her. He can tell by her stillness she’s surprised, but it wears off rather quickly and soon she’s seeking the comfort only an older brother can give her. “I love you,” he says quietly, “you shouldn’t have to be so strong all the time.”

She tenses, but hugs him tighter. “Someone’s gotta be.”

And this time her voice does warble.

They part ways after another lingering moment, and Katara tells him to meet her at the docks by noon and to not be late. 

He _promises_ he won’t.

Sokka’s mind is already filing and compartmentalizing everything needed to leave, and a guiltful rush pasts his spine at how he’d missed this sense of urgency. His head is in such a daze that he almost doesn’t notice the golden fans laid upon the bed when he enters the room. Slowly, Sokka finds himself reaching for the metaled gold, and he smiles gently before turning towards the doorway at the sudden rustle.

Suki stands solemn faced at the frame, adorn in her kyoshi warriors dress and donning her face paint again after so many months. For a moment he feels as though he’s transported back to the moment he first met her. 

“I know I tell you this all the time, but you look beautiful. You _really_ do.”

Suki flushes. “You’re just saying that,” she whispers, and Sokka frowns; something in her voice makes his stomach turn to knots. He ushers her to him, and he can’t help the way his fingers immediately tangle in her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. “I’m not. I always thought your makeup brought out the blue of your eyes.”

Suki can’t help but smile feebly at his words, and she presses a kiss to his cheek chastely, but Sokka still frowns despite her actions. “Are you okay? You’re acting strange Suki.”

Her lip quivers suddenly, and panic seizes him. “Is it because you’re worried about meeting my family? You know you didn’t have to dress up for them and-”

“ _Sokka_ I-,” she takes his hand in hers tightly. “-this is harder than I thought it would be,” she cries, and dread curls like a two headed rat viper in his gut.

“Are you breaking up with me?” he murmurs.

_“What?_ No! It’s not that I swear!”

Relief surges, but it’s brief. “Well, what is it? Because you’re really freaking me out here Suki! I thought you were going to end things with how you were acting!,” Sokka exclaims, before calming down again. “Just...just tell me Suki. Whatever it is I’m sure we can work through.”

She nods, but a tear falls from her eye anyways, smudging her liner slightly. “I’ve decided to go back home, Sokka. I can’t go back with you.” She must have taken his silence for anger, because suddenly she’s trying to explain herself to him, and she’s desperately clutching at his hand still. “My sisters have been taking care of the island for me while I’ve been gone, but _I’m_ their leader, and the repercussions of this war are affecting everyone still. This whole time I’ve been here with you--and I’ve loved every second,” Suki’s quick to defend. “-but, I left them to fend for themselves. And, I...I _miss_ them. I miss my sisters, and our Master, Lien, and I miss the ocean there. _So much Sokka_ ,” she cries abruptly. “I miss my home and-”

“I understand.”

Suki blinks surprised up at him, and it stings slightly in how she had expected him to be anything but understanding towards her. 

She wipes her tears with a free hand. Her make up beyond smudged at this point. 

“You do?”

Sokka doesn’t mind. He cleans under her eyes with his thumb anyways. “Of course I understand. I’ve missed home too. Believe it or not I’ve missed all the snow, who’d know I’d miss the freezing cold so much?”

Suki sniffles a chuckle and smiles softly at him now. “Yeah, who’d know?” She says, and Sokka cradles her face now again with a sad, but somehow still bright smile. “But I know what I’ll miss even more,” he says. “I’ll miss you. I’ll _always_ miss you Suki,” he declares. “Even when you’re next to me I miss you. I miss you right now, and you’re right in front of me.”

This time when she cries again it’s no longer from fear.

Suki kisses him feverishly, and Sokka has no qualms about holding back knowing it’ll be months till he can do this again. Not caring one single bit if he looks crazy now with her face paint splayed across his own skin in a haphazardly manner. He sighs when her fingers trace the shell of his ear, and his toes curl when she kisses him deeper. She breaks the kiss abruptly after a moment, and looks imploringly up at him. “Promise me you’ll write to me as much as you can?”

Sokka tugs her back into another kiss in response. “Of course baby,” he says, and he has no idea where that came from, but Suki flushes brighter than he’s ever seen her before. She looks down, and fingers at a loose thread at his shirt blushingly. “After all this is over we can get married,” and then she begins to grin teasingly. “Then maybe you can miss your wife instead of your fiance when she’s in front of you.”

And _yes_ , he kisses her again at that. “Sounds _perfect_.”

Sokka shows up late to the dock anyways, and when Katara scolds him he merely smiles.

He starts working on his first letter before they even make it past the horizon.


End file.
